And the pressure begins...

Well today was my first day back at school and as daunting as it was I am officially in year 11. First thing back the deputy principle threatens the grade by saying "You have to take part of a BOS course next Monday that is compulsory and if you fail you will be shifted to tafe or to the workforce." Thanks sir. We really needed that to "calm" our already stressed out nerves. =="

On my way to roll call however I had the opportunity to help a lost year 7 child. I gotta say I am very proud of that moment as I have already started to fulfil my peer-support leadership role. It felt good to help someone else. :) It's the only way I guess I can repay the help I got when on my first day in year 7.

There was one downside to the day however. It seemed that all the closeness that all the classes shared throughout the past 4 years of our junior years hase been washed away as we are all divided by our different courses and not to mention the seperate classes each course has, therefore I'm barely in any of my friends classes. A few I share with them but not all. *sigh* Here begins a very boring adventure for my HSC. Great.

Not to mention I turned out to be the only girl in my Physics class T____T....until... JO ARRIVED!!!! :D YAY! hehe.

Apart then this we all had fun enjoying André's birthday, which I collaborated with Cecilia's because she couldn't celebrate hers...LONG STORY. Overall it was fun. :) Though had to remind a few people to do their part. :P The cake was YUMMY. Like hummana hummana hummana..*drools*

Well that's all I can really recap about school, other than this everything was normal/boring.

Toodle-loo!

Boredom and Tennis Fever!

Well school begins in a mere three days. AHHHHH!!! And I haven't even organised my books yet. Ok so that's not the biggest problem. My main worry is the pressure that I'll be facing for the next two years. I'm in Year 11 now. Wow. I feel so old. With my sixteenth birthday coming up and facing the end of high school education in another year, it's really very daunting. I made a promise to myself to study properly this year, but knowing myself I don't know how long I will actually keep to my promise. Well apart form that looking forward to seeing my friends again after six weeks of complete and utter boredom, and get up to some mischief. [;

Apart from school I've started a new blog for a story idea that I had, but at the moment it's still in production and I'm contemplating on how to write it. Not to mention I have to find the time to do so while also tackling school work. Well I'll survive... somehow.

Well I guess I should start enjoying Australia Day (or I'll be too "unaustralian"), even though there's nothing to do except watch tennis and muck around at home. *sigh* So bored! I can't wait till tonight's tennis match where Andy Murray will play against world #2 Rafael Nadal.

GO MURRAY!!!

Though one match I have been anticipating and wanting to happen since the beginning of this year's Australian Open is a match between Roger Federer and Andy Murray. I really hope it happens. *fingers crossed*

Goodbye Literature

Ok anti-Twilight fanatics get ready to say goodbye to literature as Twilight now expands its reign on the bookshelves as it claims territory over some of the finest works of literature, Wuthering Heightes written by Emily Brönte. The book was developed and targeted mainly for the "Twilight" generation.

I have read the book in it's original text and glory, not the cheap one made to campaign Twilight's ever growing popularity (when will it STOP?!), and have to say that it is one the most beautiful pieces of literature I have ever read. I could NOT put the book down! It was just...amazing and so beautifully written.

It saddens me to know that our generation will be remembered as the ones that fell in love with shiny vampires. And now added to the crimes the generation that stole literature. =="

I try to smile but I can't remember how

Here we are pretending we're ok
(You can say what you want but you still can't fool me)
The life we're living It's all masquerade
(I try to smile but I can't remember how)
So how did we get so jaded Is it so complicated
To not give up to me?

So here I am again sulking about the past. I don't understand when I believe that I've put all of that in my past and am moving it just comes back and hits me real hard. It catches me off guard and it's as if there will be no tomorrow, no happiness left in the world. That's right, I have finally been broken.

I've been listening to Keep Holding On by Simple Plan on replay. And that verse just perfectly describes me right now. Why does it have to be like this? Over and over again I question why it had to turn out like this.






I just can't take it anymore.

Dreams & Nightmares: Take Two

I don't know if it's just me but within a night I happen to experience and have several dreams/nightmares. Now is that whack or what? And not only that but when I have a nice dream it always ends up turning into a nightmare. O_O WHY?! It's said that a dream is a wish your heart makes, however I don't want to have an unhappy ending. T_T" Or am I dwelling into my future? :P I wish.

Well today's dream happened to be about...Well honestly I don't remember most of it. I just remember the feeling of security and love that I felt dreaming it. Something I haven't been able to feel in a long time. I recall the dream to be about something to do with camping out in the bush with a really close friend of mine. We ended up getting lost (surprise surprise) and meeting two other campers who also are lost. So we decided to team up and try and find a way out of the bush area.

Now think of those Hollywood movies where girl gets lost and finds boy and after spending only a small amount of time together something happens and they fall in love with each other. Well that's basically what my dream was like. Only after a few days camping out with the guys and searching for a way out to the real world, I (in the dream) ended up falling in love with one of the guys.

Yes we only spent a small time with each other, but what was the something that truly drew out our emotions? Well folks that was me being targeted by some Amazonian women, who wanted to make me one of their virgin sacrifices or else they'll set their hornet's on me. O_____________________O WTF?!

Well they ended up sending the hornets after me... and my friends. Oh and they managed to capture me too but my knight in shining armour saved me! ^__^ YAY! :)

Sure the dream was all cliché and sounded like something out of some random Hollywood movie, but you know what? It was this dream that kind of gave me hope that even after everything that has happened recently, that maybe, MAYBE, there will be some happiness waiting for me in the near future. That perhaps there is someone out there for me. Because aren't clichés what keep us going? Aren't clichés what defines our lives? If you think about it the only reason we laugh or resent clichés is because it IS reality and it can happen (well minus the crazy Amazonian women and the hornets part :P).

Well this dream has left me in a better mood than I have felt in a while.

Cheeri-O!

Happy Birthday Cecilia!

I just want to shout out a birthday message for a very special friend of mine Cecilia! Happy Birthday dearest! :) I love you loads, much more than that fishy! Can't wait to glomp you and show you some lovin' at school. [; hehe.

One Litre Of Tears

They say that time flies when you’re having fun. However, apparently, the same principle applies when your life is turned upside down for the worse and you are heartbroken. Where was my happiness? Where was the fun?

Well a month has already flown past. All the memories of this month are vague yet crystal clear, some moments jumping back into my memory like a lion jumping at its prey. It’s all quiet sudden and, like the poor, helpless zebra the lion stalks, it catches me off guard. It breaks my composed exterior that has taken me so long to build, shattering it into a million pieces. This truly shows just how weak I truly am. I believed myself to be much stronger and unbreakable, even by the harshest of insults. But this, this one experience in my life, leaves me choking for breath and surrounded by a flood of tears and tissues. I may be able to hide my emotions from those close to me and keep a composed exterior, however when I am alone, my barrier shatters without will.

My friends ask, “You ok?”
I reply with a fake smile plastered to my face and a jovial voice, “Of course! Don’t worry, I’ll Be Fine.”

Though my interior, my soul, is screaming to be set free of such pain. It feels as though I am wearing a mask. I do not know why I don’t surrender to the comfort my friends try to give me. I just don’t want to burden them with my problems, when they clearly have some of their own to tackle, not to mention they’re more worrisome then any that I have. I guess my pride is larger than I had ever anticipated.


But I’m not fine. No matter how many times I pick myself up, there is always something that’ll bring me down again.

I cannot wait til school begins again, as then I will be able to find a safe haven amongst my peers and have something to distract me than this damned holidays.

It was all my fault. My stupidity caused it and all that I am left with are the memories I shared with you. You’re a part of my life that I have to erase, no matter how much it hurts.

I'm Sorry.

Dreams & Nightmares

Today I had the weirdest nightmare. Seriously... It all started a few days ago.

A few days ago I have been having this problem sleeping, where no matter how tired i feel i just won't fall asleep. And once I do it's difficult for me to distinguish whatever's happening to me is actually a dream or reality. This brings us to today. Today I experienced the same problem. I don't I fell asleep until around 2 or 3am.

The dream began with me and my parents at the dinnertable talking. Then something happened and I started to give them, especially my mum oO, attitude. It then fast forwarded to me getting married and bringing the groom home, except I was still my age, and frightened to death because it was just so sudden. The groom turned out to be some old 30 year old (*shivers*) who is missing a hand. O_O While my "groom" was sleeping I went on facebook and updated my status to "OMG GUYS IM LITERALLY MARRIED NOW!!! T___T" (shows you how much I'm addicted to facebook). ==" Just as I update it, my "groom" wakes up and has a murderous expression upon his face...









.... This is when I woke up! (Thank GOD!)

So yes i woke up panting and scared (normal after any nightmare) and seriously thought it had happened until I realised it was just a nightmare. But let me explain something. In my culture the parents have the right to arrange the marriage for their children and marry them to whomever they desire without the consent of the child, even if they are a legal adult. This means jackshit to them. They don't care if you're 18 or 81, they still have rights over you till either they're dead or... wait there is no or.

This nightmare made me realise just how much I loathe arranged marriages, my culture's traditions and how I don't think I will ever have freedom. ): I guess the only time people in my culture (the oldies) acutally see us as adults is when we are married, have a job and have three kids. Nothing more, nothing less.

This brings me to my dream. (It surprised me actually)

The dream (the happy one after the horrific one) was about me visiting America, I think actually moving there, and my parents giving me the freedom I desire so much. Not to mention they were NICE! :O hehe. Nah, they're alright. They just need to get with the times. Be hip. [; Wait that's bad.. my mum tried that and started to sing and dance to Sexy Bitch by Akon ft. David Guetta. *shudders at memory*

I guess parents just need to let go of responsibility sometimes and let loose. Put themselves in their children's shoes, remember what it was like being a child (wait that won't help much...all I ever hear about is how they were always obedient childrent... PFFFFFFFT YEAH RIGHT!) and understand that traditions change.

Well I guess I should get back to doing my 48 pages of tutor homework. =="

Au Revoir! (:

Eensy Weensy Spider..

...Went up the water spout.
Down came the rain and washed pour Eensy down.
Up came the sun and dried up all the rain.
So Eensy Weensy spider went up the spout again...♪♫

Well I woke up to a bright sunny morning, not to mention it was also sweltering hot. Yes even at 8am in the morning it is possible to experience boiling temperatures. Seriously what is wrong with this world? Not only this, but now at exactly 7.10pm it is pouring with rain and temperatures have drastically dropped from what it was a mere hour ago. Weird huh?

Wait why am I blabbering on about the weather? oO

I sometimes don't know what comes over me. Oh well at least this weather creates the perfect scene to snuggle up in bed tonight with a good hearty read. Can't wait! :)

Sayonara!

Dance to the Beat of Jazz

Is it just me or is Michael Bublé one sexy singer? Honestly! I've been listening to his songs on replay and can't help but say that I have fallen head over heels for him. His voice and the lyrics... *daydreams* DAMN reality!

I especially love these lyrics from his song Sway:

"...Thrill me more
As only you know how
Sway me smooth
Sway me now..."

I just melted listening to those lyrics. Another really good song would definitely be Haven't Met You Yet. Its catchy tune and lyrics is enough to make you start dancing. I know I have. :D

Introductions

Well let me introduce myself.

Name: Nabzilla
Age: 15
Location: Earth
Sex: Well.. [;
Status: Single to Mingle
Occupation: Student (:

Ok so I didn't introduce myself so much, but with the internet we just have to be a bit cautious. Who knows who is reading our blogs.

Well since I'm bored and have nothing to really recount, toodle-loo for now. [;

The Beginning

My first post... YAY!

This was originally called the Pursuit of Happyness, but then I realised it was too deep, and considering I'm not that deep as a person I decided to call it My Secret Wonderland. Why? Because it quiet literally is my secret wonderland. Somewhere I escape to when I'm bored or what not.

Here I'll be posting, well, just about anything really, recording all my weird and wacky moments. So it's basically like my own online diary. :) (Haven't had one of those in ages!!)

Well anyways I don't have much else to say. Cheeri-oh! [;

ps. I might also add that I have a knack of saying different phrases in various languages/style.